Are you an ambitious individual who struggles with setting realistic goals? 

Do you attempt to accomplish tasks but end up getting too overwhelmed to do so? 

Do you want to learn how to reach your goals in a healthier, more effective way?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, remember that you’re not alone! Many of my clients deal with this same problem. Most of the time, their goals are too high and unrealistic, so they never achieve them. This constant cycle leads to low-self esteem, feelings of being overwhelmed, and the belief that they aren’t doing enough.

Does this sound like you? If so, keep reading!

WHY DON’T I ACHIEVE MY GOALS?

The majority of people who are used to overachieving tend to set unrealistic goals for themselves, which makes them feel incredibly disappointed when they are unable to accomplish them. 

This disappointment and self-sabotage discourage them from leveling up or improving their lives. Some might even take such setbacks personally and never reach out for the stars, again.

However, the issue is not that they are incompetent or unqualified. The problem, instead, lies in how they set those goals. 

To stop this cycle of disappointment, you need to learn about setting realistic goals. Changing your habits can be challenging but will reward you in the end. I believe in you!

Think about the goals you keep pushing off- why do you keep doing this? 

SOME REASONS CAN BE…

• PERFECTIONISM: Many people who struggle with perfectionism resist achieving their goals. Perfectionism causes people to hold incredibly high standards for themselves and the work they do. When people are so critical of their abilities, it feels like whatever they do will never be enough. To avoid these negative feelings, people will procrastinate accomplishing goals that make them stressed or anxious.
• PROCRASTINATION: People can procrastinate, avoid completing tasks until the deadline is almost up, for many reasons. Some examples are not feeling qualified, fearing failure, lack of motivation, etc.
• CHANGING INTERESTS: Humans change with time. Our values evolve as we grow and learn, and so do the things that excite us. Perhaps the goals you’ve set in the past don’t excite you anymore. This lack of interest prevents you from putting in the work to accomplish them once and for all. 

TIPS FOR SETTING REALISTIC GOALS:

Let’s take a look at some successful strategies for setting realistic goals and achieving your plans:

1. PICK GOALS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU

Reflect on what truly matters to you. Some self-reflection can help you choose meaningful goals:

• What is something(s) I’ve always wanted to achieve?
• What do I value and appreciate in life?
• Can I think of what would make me happy?
• What would I set my mind to if the opinion of society and other people didn’t matter?
• When I picture my future, what am I doing? Where am I? Who am I with?

Journal using these prompts to explore your interests and passions. Look back on these entries whenever you feel lost or discouraged about your path. Update these pages if your goals evolve or change as your life progresses. 

Focus on the goals that really matter to you, and spend less time on ones that are not urgent.

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of the best strategies you can use for identifying and choosing goals that matter to you. ACT helps you embrace the reality of feelings and thoughts that you usually keep suppressed for various reasons.

ACT allows you to become more mindful of yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings. You’ll learn how to be honest with yourself about what you want in life, despite any societal pressure or any other discouraging factors. As the name suggests, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy not only requires you to accept your inner goals but also commit to achieving them! You will find solutions and take actions that further your progress, which is accomplished by embracing your true self and values.

2. USE JOURNALING TO EXPLORE YOUR GOALS

A goal without a plan of action and initiative is merely a wish. Writing down your goals and making solid plans makes them more real, and people tend to take them more seriously.  

• What are 3 goals I want to achieve today, this month, and throughout the year?
• How long will it take to achieve these goals? 
• Why do I want to achieve these goals?

Such questions help you gain perspective on your dream and how much each goal means to you. It is crucial to realize the importance of your goals – this helps you stay motivated enough to achieve them.

Try to answer these questions in as much detail as possible- this will highlight exactly what you want to do! You can also further bifurcate your goals into smaller steps. For instance, if your goal is to expand your small garden, then your steps would be:

• First, Searching for inspiration in gardening magazines, forums, or articles online
• Second, studying this information and further your learning about each plant and their needs
• Third, purchase the materials and start planting those seeds.

Creating these smaller steps makes the bigger goal seem more approachable and welcoming to begin. These steps make it easier for you to understand what you need to do to achieve your goal and, hence, make them less overwhelming. This is a great step in setting realistic goals!

3. ATTACH REALISTIC TIME STAMPS TO YOUR GOALS

Not specifying a time limit for your goals is as dangerous as not writing them down. To achieve your goals, you need more structure in your planning. Implementing realistic time limits is useful! For instance, think of a realistic amount of time that would allow you to move into a new apartment. With the income you receive now, how long would it take you to save up the money you’d need? 

Do not expect to achieve your goals in too little time. If you expect to save all the money you need for a new place in only two weeks, that is unrealistic, and you will feel disappointed.

4. PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION THROUGHOUT YOUR JOURNEY

When you reach certain steps in this process, be proud! Remember to reward your progress, big or small, and to appreciate the work you are doing. The more you show pride in your achievements, the better you will feel! These good feelings will help encourage you to focus on reaching your goals.  

Achieving your dreams can be a lengthy process. Have patience with yourself and your journey in life. Remember to practice self-compassion in times when you mess up or fall – as humans, failure is bound to happen from time to time. Progress isn’t linear – there will be twists and turns on every road to success. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and eventually pick yourself back up.

Follow these tips to get better at setting realistic goals! Also, if you are interested in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I provide these services! I also can help anyone struggling with depression from perfectionism or anxiety when trying to achieve their goals. Contact me to learn how to help you achieve your goals and accept yourself!