High-Functioning Anxiety: The Coach from Hell

This article will go over the signs of high-functioning anxiety! If you don’t know what high-functioning anxiety (HFA) entails, imagine feeling like your mind can never shut off for a moment of peace. You are never satisfied with what you are doing and are constantly pushing yourself to keep going, work harder, and be better than before. Your anxiety acts like an over-the-top sports coach, and it will not rest until you work yourself to the bone and make no mistakes.

In fact, I have some experience in the sports world myself…well, maybe more than a little. I fenced for 15 years. I was a member of the United States Women’s Saber National team, won 5 world championship titles, and went to Penn State on an athletic scholarship, where my team won three national championships. For two years, I even took off from school and trained for the 2008 Olympics!

What is HFA Like?

While “high-functioning anxiety” isn’t a technical clinical diagnosis, it’s a phrase that’s become increasingly popular in the past few years and includes a cluster of symptoms that most closely align with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), a diagnosis that is found within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). People with high-functioning anxiety experience many symptoms associated with anxiety disorders. However, they do not meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder diagnosis, even though their overall quality of life may be significantly impacted by their condition.

Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety

Someone with HFA will:

• Usually, live a seemingly “successful” or “motivated” life
  • Their anxiety pushes them to aim for perfection and work non-stop
• Channel their anxiety into goals-driven behavior
  • A key feature of high functioning anxiety is that it propels the person forward rather than leaving them frozen in fear
• Often, suffer silently and unknowingly to the people around them
  • Their work ethic and success make it seem like they have their life totally together, even if they are struggling internally
• Find it hard to appreciate their success, maintain any work-life balance, take breaks, or be proud of themselves 

When I was fencing, I experienced immense stress. My anxiety caused me to have sleepless nights, racing thoughts, experiences binge partying to take my mind off my stress. There were times when my anxiety affected me physically, and I even ended up fainting. People with HFA also experience nail/skin picking and tension in their back or jaw.

If anyone noticed anything was off about me, I would simply make excuses like,”I was jet-lagged.” Admitting to anything else felt like a weakness to me. I’m sure if you play sports, you can relate!

What is Really Under The Surface: Less Obvious Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety

Many people with HFA seem to have their life together. There may be someone you look up to in life. It looks like this person has it all – graduated top of their class, has a wonderful job, maintains relationships and friendships, etc. Although it all seems great from the outside, you can’t see what is going on on the inside.

People with HFA experience many things you may not realize. For example, you might not notice that these people have difficulty setting boundaries and saying “no.” People with HFA may seem very helpful and always willing to lend an extra hand. In reality, these people struggle with feelings of letting others down and, in turn, overextend themselves. 

HFA sufferers live their lives in a way they feel “should” happen rather than how they may want it to occur. They often want to make others happy and act in ways that satisfy the people around them.

They fear failure and disappointing others greatly. As a result, HFA causes people to become over-thinkers and people-pleasers. They also deal with racing thoughts/negative self-talk. Failure is very hard for people with HFA to cope with. 

After years and years of dedication, I did not make the Olympics. I missed the team by one spot. At the time, it felt like all the work I did and the sacrifices I made ended in failure. I felt like I let my whole support system down, which was all very challenging for me to deal with.

Help Is Out There

If you relate to any of the things mentioned in this article, know that help is out there! Therapy can help you develop tools to deal with anxiety in your life and cope in healthy ways!

My story is relevant because most of my clients have been following the “should do” path their entire lives, as I did. Much of the work I do with my clients is helping them to connect with themselves and what they want. Our work helps my clients break from the “should” and move towards their wants. I help them feel proud of themselves and be driven for more based on personal hunger, not fear. 

You do not have to continue living your life with constant pressure and stress. Moreover, you deserve to live a happier and healthier life! I specialize in helping people deal with anxiety. I also am able to empathize with the unique struggles former athletes encounter.